One Moment Too Late
by Angel-Chan
Summary: In only a couple of moments your life can be changed... if not better-- worse. But it's all up to you.... Rukato. Please R&R! ARGH! I just looked it over! My words won't italicize! I'm sorry if it doesn't look right-- I'll try to fix it sometime.


One Moment Too Late   
  
  
  


"Hey all you listeners out there! I hope you're stayin' dry and warm in your home-- or wherever else you may be. And if you're planin' on headin' out, keep an umbrella above your head 'cause hoo-boy! Is it pourin'! Why, I was just...." The voice droned on, talking of its own life problems and excitements; if it wanted to, it could have written a book completely on... well, you get the picture....   
  


I sighed. Everyone and their problems.... What about someone else's? What about mine? Did anyone care about what was troubling me? My heart? Then again... if someone actually wanted me to spill out my contents like the rain outside of my room, would I? Really, now-- would I?   
  


No.... Probably not.   
  


It had been nearly a week; only one week since the end of so many things.... Practically the end of my life. And I... I missed it-- I missed everything! Why? Why did it have to end? Why did she have to leave? Why? At least then I had something to do... and I had someone to talk to.... I doubted that any of them would even try to talk to me-- why would they want to? I was a witch to them most of the time-- especially to him....   
  


("What? You're going to get your hair cut? Why do that? I-I think it would look great on you if you'd let it grow a little more...."   
  


"Oh, boy-- big strong man giving me 'beauty tips'. And if anyone needs a haircut, it's you. So just stay out of my business, goggle-head.")   
  


But you listened to him, didn't you? Your hair is longer than it has ever been, am I not right?   
  


Stop it, I scolded myself. Stop! Doubt is a sense of weakness! And are you weak? No, not Rika Nonaka! She's the "mighty warrior", the "digimon queen". A shiver fled down my spine, hoping to release itself from me. It didn't make it. Yes... that's right. I was strong! I would never need anyone! Not no one! Strength-- the main key to living in a world where there are so many predators; love, friendship, sorrow, happiness-- all weaknesses. Every one of them! I needed not anything or anyone, nor did they need me.   
  


Alone....   
  


Solitude....   
  


Yes-- that's right! That was all anyone needed to be what could live in this world!   
  


But... then why? Why did my chest ache? Why did my mind throb whenever I tried to be at peace with these things (mainly now, after all that I had gone through)? Someone answer me! I need to know! I want to know! I want to be strong, to be brave, to be what I have always been!   
  


No one answered; I knew no one would.... Not even her... not now. She had gone back to her own world. Where she belonged. (Where do I belong...?)   
  


"Well... good riddance," I muttered, shifting my body to lean against the table in my room. Who needed her anyway? Not me, that's for sure! I never needed her in the first place. And I supposed that she could get along quite well just the same.   
  


Liar....   
  


I cringed. I am not! I don't need her! I don't!   
  


Liar....   
  


Shut... up....   
  


LIAR....   
  


SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!   
  


I listened... and waited.... The chanting voice had departed on my threat. But there was something new to listen to: a knock on our front door. It was probably a friend of my mom's, but I listened anyway.... Like I used to all those years before....   
  


Nothing. Just muffled voices, probably murmurs and whispers. Perhaps Mother has found a new guy "friend"..., I assumed. I ignored the shuffling feet from that point on and returned my attention to my radio. On it, Toi et Moi played softly. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but....   
  


Tmp, tmp.   
  


"Honey? There's someone here to see you...."   
  


What? I sat there, my back to the door, and stared at the wall. Nobody ever visited me.... Why would one want to?   
  


I didn't reply.   
  


A small mutter. My mom laughed and replied, "Now, now-- don't be silly! She'd love to see you, dear! She's been locked in her room all day anyway!" A creak of the door opening. "Go on in. She won't mind."   
  


I heard the light taps of unsure feet make their way across my room to the opposite side of the table. They then sat down, trying to be quiet, but not succeeding very well. Who...?   
  


"So... um-- you like this song?"   
  


I felt myself clench up slightly. Goggle-head? But what's he doing here? I tried to ease myself. He'd come to visit a few times before... but they were before everything ended.... What... is this feeling? Stop it.... I don't want to feel it....   
  


I stared at the wall, ignoring the burning sensation in my face. "Not really," I snapped, then pounded myself mentally for doing so. Why can't you be nice? Just for once? I couldn't... I had to be strong and closed.   
  


"M-me neither.... It's-- uh-- not my type...," he stuttered. I could just picture him now: sitting there on his knees, dry and warm, with a soaking wet umbrella on his side.... But I couldn't see his face.... I realized that it bothered me.... He wasn't the kind of person who could tell things straight out-- you had to read it in his eyes. (He also wasn't very good at lying.) I wanted to look at his face.... I hadn't looked into his eyes, read his stories, all week....   
  


Be quiet, stop thinking of such things! Such things are useless in your life.... You don't need them... you don't need him....   
  


"Oh, please," I groaned. "What're you here for, goggle-boy?" I still remembered the first time he came to see me.... All because he... he saw me in a dream. How important was that? And it never lead up into anything else!   
  


"I-I... oh, no reason...." He cleared his throat absent-mindedly. "I just wanted to... to know how you were doing!"   
  


I could tell that he had made that up as he said it.... I just didn't know why. "Well I`m doing fine. Now you can go," I whispered. Yes, go and leave me to sort out my brain.   
  


"Y-you see, we haven't seen each other since the day we... we...," he slowed to a soft stop and I pictured his mop of a head lower.   
  


"Won?" I offered, although even I knew that that was not the best way to put it....   
  


"Yeah.... I guess I... I just m-missed you.... That's all...."   
  


Missed me? Why on Earth would he miss me? Him, of all people.... I thought of that moment... right after the digimon sovereign was vanquished.... 

~*~ 

The night sky was slowly turning a faded shade of red as the last traces of the evil digimon disappeared from our eyes. Sunrise could be beautiful when you have just beaten the most dangerous thing that had ever entered your life, as I learned just then. For once, I just smiled. Three years-- three long years-- done. We could relax, perhaps still visit the digital world, and live our lives as we had never lived them before....   
  


"Rika-- Rika, we did it!" Takato exclaimed from his post beside me.   
  


I smiled again-- I just couldn't help it! It's not something I would usually do, but I was willing to make an exception. It was a happy moment... I guess. "Yeah," I agreed softly. He then stopped his jubilant cheers and stared at me. And I mean stared. "What?"   
  


"You... you really should try to smile more...," he stammered, a faint crimson blush spreading out on his face. He looked down and avoided my eyes.   
  


What's he talking about? I questioned myself. He'd been acting a little strangely lately, but it was nothing to take note of.... Oh well.... I`ll be nice to him for once-- it is, after all, a time to celebrate and not be sad or upset.... "You think so?" He looked up, some confusion shining in his eyes. "I'll try to do it more often, okay?" And with that, I smiled. I smiled a smile that had never been worn on my face before; it was a little dusty and faded, but it was a smile.   
  


He looked as though he were consulting himself, not quite sure why I was acting this way, shrugged, then let out a joyful yelp of glee and took my hands; he spun around, taking me with him, laughing and laughing, happiness exceeding that which he normally contained. I felt... I don't know-- different. When his hand grasped mine, I just felt this strange tingle run up and down my spine, through my entire body.... Then it stopped at my heart... and knocked to be let in. I did not slide the door open. Instead, I let it wait... not wanting it to venture forth, not exactly sure what this visitor was; I wasn't sure if I even wanted it to be within me.   
  


I couldn't take it anymore.... I broke free of his grasp and turned away. "That's enough happiness and goodie-goodie stuff for me, goggle-head," I spat harshly; a little too harshly, now that I can look back to it. Takato let out a small stammer (I wasn't able to understand any of it), then I heard his footsteps start towards where the others were. It wasn't until he murmured my name("Rika....") that I felt a crisp pain surge within my heart. It was like the presence that was awaiting its invitation to my heart had suddenly broken down the door and had begun to pilfer some of what I held in there.   
  


Something slid down my face. It was... warm. I reached up and wiped at it; it was none other than.... "A tear? Why... am I....?" I never turned around, never looked back, never called out his name. I just stood there and wondered why the tears had come when they had. 

~*~ 

"... and, you know, it's just that we don't even go to the same school.... I didn't know if I'd ever see you again...," he stated. He had been rambling on for a while now, mostly while I remembered last week, but I was able to catch this part of his conversation.   
  


"Whatever...," I grumbled. "There are things such as parks, you know. If you've ever seen the T.V. show, you'll remember that they had those little reunions and get-togethers all of the time. Ever think of that, goggle-brain?" I really should stop with the "goggle-whatever"'s.... No-- no, I have to be who I've always been. Who I will always be.   
  


He let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Oh, yeah. I... forgot." He then quieted down. All the while, I sat there, confused to heck and back, and contemplated his actions. I wondered if he would leave soon. It would have helped my heart and would have helped let me sort out those feelings and thoughts. Like why I felt like that around him.... Why I felt a strange urging to just... oh, I don't know, go up and kiss him! (Not that I would... but that was besides the point.)   
  


Within the tranquility, a small tune played out from the radio in the corner. Takato began to cry softly at the words....   
  


Let me be your hero....   
  


Would you dance if I asked you to dance? 

Would you run and never look back? 

Would cry if you saw me cryin'? 

Would you save my soul tonight?   
  


"I-I didn't come here... to see how you were doing-- well, n-not completely...," he whispered in-between his tears. I felt a sudden twinge of uneasiness. What else then?   
  


Would you tremble if I touched your lips? 

Would you laugh-- oh, please tell me this: 

Now would you die for the one you love? 

Hold me in your arms tonight....   
  


He cleared his throat. "I was thinking... maybe-- just maybe-- you'd... you'd like to, well...."   
  


"Spit it out, Takato," I demanded. I had to know-- I just had to!   
  


"I wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere with me sometime!" he cried. His sudden outburst hit home. I felt my skin burn and my gaze stay on the wall. What do I say? I roared questioningly to myself. But... even if I did know what to say, I didn't know what to do or how to act, and it... confused me.... He sensed this, I suppose, because he instantly shifted around and stood up. I choked on all of the words I felt like saying.... Like: 'Don't go, Takato, you dummy! Hear me out!'   
  


"It's okay, Rika," he rasped sadly. "I understand-- I've always sort have known... but I just denied it to myself everyday. 'I can melt her heart of ice' I'd tell myself.... But... no, you probably don't care for me very much.... You've always treated me like crap, and I guess that's all that I've ever been to you...." I twitched at this comment. I knew that I treated him pretty badly, but I didn't know that it had hurt him this much! I didn't say anything. He went on:   
  


"I mean, you were nicer to Henry than you were to me! Yeah, I see it now-- you must like Henry.... What girl wouldn't? He's... he's smarter, braver, better looking-- heck-- probably even stronger than me...." His sobs started up again and I felt a deep pit of guilt open within me, and I, not looking where I was going, tumbled in. Do. Not. Cry, I threatened, although I couldn't help it-- down they flowed, like the rain outside.   
  


"D-don't worry," he said through the stifling sobs, "I won't tell 'im.... I won't... tell.... I guess... I-I'd better go...." He stumbled to the door, still crying. "Goodbye, Rika...," he muttered gravely. Oh, the pit of guilt was a bottomless one, indeed. I fell and fell and fell, never once ceasing, and never once hoping to find a way to do so. Tossing and tumbling through the darkness, I heard Takato say goodbye.   
  


"No, wait!" I cried within the pit, but my words never made it out of my lips-- the guilt and the pit put an end to that a while ago. The tears fell down my emotionless face as I sat there, eyes transfixed out in front of me. I couldn't move, couldn't speak....   
  


His hand pushed slightly on the door, sliding it open; he began to exit. Before he left, he let four small words escape from his mouth....   
  


"I love you, Rika...."   
  


What?! (There! The bottom of the pit!) I spun around, hair falling over my eyes, and called out: "Takato!"   
  


It was too late.... He was gone. He must've ran, because a second later I heard the door slam shut, and my mother whisper, "Poor child. What did Rika do to him? I should have tried to offer him an umbrella at least.... Poor, poor heartbroken boy.... I hope he doesn't catch pneumonia...." I stared at the door where Takato had last been.... The song ended....   
  


I can be your hero baby 

I can kiss away the pain 

I will stand by you forever 

You can take my breath away.... 

You can take my breath away.... 

Let me be... your hero....   
  


"He... he said...," I trailed off, my eyes glazing with tears and my mind filling with thoughts and my heart aching with emotions. I then noted that my earlier assumption of him was quite wrong.... He had come here in the drenching rain without any protection... just to see me.... I slid my eyes towards something over to my right. A person-- or at least an image of one.... It was a girl... a frail-looking girl with long, reddish hair. Her eyes were red from tears and bloodshot from what seemed to be lack of sleep. She looked so weak.... She was a weak, trembling pauper. That was it-- a pauper. A death awaiting girl who would except hospitality from anyone, but would break if she were ever misused... mislead.... She would be destroyed within herself... within all of the pain and angst that would have consumed her soul by then. And then she would die and be forever alone once more....   
  


Sorry fool..., I mused. I laughed at the image... and then shook when the girl laughed back. She wore a sarcastic smirk that totally defied its purpose-- what with all of the tears and pain on her face.   
  


And then I realized something.... That girl was me!   
  


Mirror, mirror, lie to me 

Show me what I wanna see 

Mirror, mirror, lie to me 

Show me what I wanna see   
  


That song.... Why was that song playing? What gave them the right to play that song now? Why? Oh, God, oh, God...,I moaned silently, realizing what all of those past emotions had meant, why I had felt that way, and why I couldn't answer....What... what have I done?   
  


Why don't I like the girl I see? 

The one who's standin' right in front of me 

Why don't I think before I speak? 

I should have listened to that voice inside me! 

I must be stupid, must be crazy, must be out of my mind 

To say the kind of things I said last night....   
  


He was gone.... I hadn't answered him.... I... I had been a moment too late. Had I been a little quicker.... Why wouldn't my lips move?! Why couldn't I answer him?! My face twisted into that which held hatred and anger towards its view. I grabbed the closest thing to me, my D-Arc, useless and unneeded now that our adventure was done and over with, and hurled it at the mirror. It won't show me anymore of its images, I concluded-- once it had shattered and scattered about the ground before me. I slowly curled into a small ball on the ground, not taking any more interest in the mirror, and did something I had never done before-- I bawled like a baby.   
  


Mirror, mirror, hangin' on the wall 

You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all   
  


"Why...? Oh, w-why?" I stuttered, hot tears flowing more freely form their ducts than ever before. I had never-- never--cried that much in my life.... "I... hate myself.... So stupid... stupid... i-idiot.... Why am I so stubborn?! H-how could I have been so cruel?!" I let out a scream of rage. I had lost him....   
  


I'm... I'm lonely.... So lonely... and cold.... I wrapped my arms around my quivering body and sobed uncontrollably. No more of that "holding it in" stuff.... I'd just cry.... "S-stupid me...."   
  


Mirror, mirror, I wish you could lie to me 

And bring my baby back-- bring my baby back to me....   
  


"I-I need you.... Ta... Takato-- I love you!"   
  


And so I cried until I had no more tears left to let me. And then, when that happened, I slept. Slept and dreamed of nothing... for I had nothing left to dream about.... 

~*~ 

A/N: *TA-DA* My first Tamers story! What...? No "Ooh"'s or "Aah"'s? Darn- I guess that's what I get for trying. Anyway, I don't own any of the songs (Toi et Moi, Hero, Mirror, Mirror), nor do I own the character's (Ruki-chan's my fave, if you couldn't tell... and Takato's Squirtle-girl's [my sis] fave). And-- yes, I finally chose! After 21 American-dubbed episodes, I finally picked a couple! RUKATO! But... knowing Toei, they'll go with the opposite of what I support (yes, I support Taiora [notice that I never added an "ed"]) 

I just wanted to try a Tamers short story for once, 'cause there are barely any wherever I go! It's not right! But most of the ones that I do I see ARE good, so... (no names, less flames). Well, I just hope that those who read this enjoy it, and even if you don't like this story, please review and tell me what I could do to make a better one, if you liked my writing style or not, or if you think I should work on another story that you had once read. 

Oh yeah- my webpage is up! Go view it sometime! Tell me what you think! Well, I had better get going. Ja ne, minna!-Angel-Chan (Yeah, I don't review that many stories- I like tons of them, but I just get too lazy to type out my feelings.... ^-^ ''' I'll try to be a good girl now.... I WANNA SEE DA 'ARRY POTTER MOVIE!!!! Dun mind me....) 

A/N 2: I updated this after reading my reviews slowly (a lot of happiness filling me as well [I love it when someone enjoys my stories!]) and took my time to fix the errors you caught. Special thanks goes to Alex Warlorn, who helped with quite a few little "boo-boo's". And I have to admit, you came really close to guessing my intent with the whole mirror scene, Alex! I'm glad that someone was able to catch that! As for a sequel.... 

Yeah. Sure. Why not? And I'll probably make this one a little heart-tugging, too (and I'll add more descriptive thoughts and metaphors-- as told by Ruki!). I'll try to drag it out, and-- who knows? I might have a little chapter story comin' from this! 

Okay, for those wondering why Ruki's "wall of pride", as Alex put it, fell so easily, well.... The truth is that she and the others had been training and everything for three years (that was supposed to be a hint to lead you to thinking that everyone is at least a little closer...). Now you're probably wondering why I never mentioned stuff like how they (meaning all of the digi-tamers) had grown a little bit closer or anything. It's because, well.... It's Ruki, for goodness sakes! She'd never admit something like that! All she'd do is bash herself and say that they all hated her or that she didn't need their friendship because it would only lead to more weaknesses. If Lee or Takato were telling the story, they might've claimed how they had all agreed to try and "melt away the thick layers of ice surrounding her soul" and help her in anyway that they could. 

But they're not telling the story, are they? And will they? Naw, probably not. Ruki's fun to write with in first person. Hehee... I should write another Tamers story once this one is done and use the Jap. names. Why? 'Cause I like them more.... Oh well.... Thanks again to all of you who read and reviewed! Keep your eyes peeled for a next part! (I might even rename the story if I start making more and use this title for the first chapter like I did for "Trials of the Heart". At least... unless I just write a sequel.) Ja ne!- Angel-Chan (By the way: Toi et Moi means something like You and Me in Japanese-- it's also the second Pocket Monsters movie ending theme (I think). I don't know all of the words to it yet, so I just mentioned the title. Sorry 'bout that little inconvenience!) 


End file.
